We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She bit a glass in half.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
