i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
