Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
