How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
