i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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