Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
