They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
