You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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