and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
