super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize