Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
