Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
