I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
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