you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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