She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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