the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
