quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
