Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
