i just wanna soil my oats bro
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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