I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
