i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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