We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
