I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
