So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
