Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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