We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
