He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
