So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
