I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
