I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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