Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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