you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
