Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Two words: nipple clamps
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