Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
