The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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