the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
