I think I am morally bankrupt
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
3pm strippers are depressing
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
