Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
