Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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