why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
