oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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