Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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