did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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