Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize