why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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