Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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