You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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