i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
