I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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