Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
