How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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