pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
