and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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