I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I love you. Go after that dick
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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