Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
