Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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