Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
