i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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