So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
